![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Apr. 19th, 2010 12:46 pmI've had several shoots over the past few weeks. I received a 35mm lens as a birthday gift, which was very generous. Thank you, parents.
Too bad my shoots have been completely uninspired. I did some shots of this little girl for her first communion. I hardly remember my first communion anymore, but I did have one. Little girls dressed as brides, ah yes. Those are the days. This little girl lives two houses down from me.
Then, at my cousin's baby's baptism, I could barely even break out my camera. Fellow photographers, did you ever get the feeling that you were invited to an event solely because they wanted you to take pictures? I mean, normally of course that's all I do. My camera is like an extension of my right hand. But lately my camera does not go with me everywhere. My camera has a hard time going with me anywhere. I don't even know where my battery charger is so when I run out of battery (I've got one bar left) it's over.
I love that little boy. I love him so much. And when he grows up enough to know who I am, I will be just another superfluous distant relative to him. Ah well. Sometimes I just look around at everyone and wonder at how beautiful they are. I am not beautiful. I have ten thousand different planes on my face and they all fight with one another. My mouth and nose are crooked. My face is broken out all the time. My eyes are so big I look cross eyed. I have the widest, sloppiest shoulders ever seen on a woman. I have no waist and the widest hips possible on a woman who weighs 155 lbs. I have a farmer's tan. None of that matters. Other people are beautiful and they don't even know. Sometimes when a person is depressed, she is irritable. I have always been that kind of depressed before. Sometimes instead of being irritable, she is the opposite and wants the world to use her up.
But my tree is planted. I sing to it and read it poetry. And so far, I think it's going to live. This is lovely news. Today is dad's birthday. We are going to have him a cake. We got him shoes and a belt. My idea. Someone else's money. Forces collide and collude.
Too bad my shoots have been completely uninspired. I did some shots of this little girl for her first communion. I hardly remember my first communion anymore, but I did have one. Little girls dressed as brides, ah yes. Those are the days. This little girl lives two houses down from me.
Then, at my cousin's baby's baptism, I could barely even break out my camera. Fellow photographers, did you ever get the feeling that you were invited to an event solely because they wanted you to take pictures? I mean, normally of course that's all I do. My camera is like an extension of my right hand. But lately my camera does not go with me everywhere. My camera has a hard time going with me anywhere. I don't even know where my battery charger is so when I run out of battery (I've got one bar left) it's over.
I love that little boy. I love him so much. And when he grows up enough to know who I am, I will be just another superfluous distant relative to him. Ah well. Sometimes I just look around at everyone and wonder at how beautiful they are. I am not beautiful. I have ten thousand different planes on my face and they all fight with one another. My mouth and nose are crooked. My face is broken out all the time. My eyes are so big I look cross eyed. I have the widest, sloppiest shoulders ever seen on a woman. I have no waist and the widest hips possible on a woman who weighs 155 lbs. I have a farmer's tan. None of that matters. Other people are beautiful and they don't even know. Sometimes when a person is depressed, she is irritable. I have always been that kind of depressed before. Sometimes instead of being irritable, she is the opposite and wants the world to use her up.
But my tree is planted. I sing to it and read it poetry. And so far, I think it's going to live. This is lovely news. Today is dad's birthday. We are going to have him a cake. We got him shoes and a belt. My idea. Someone else's money. Forces collide and collude.
