Frost Apostraphe

The lady lawyer was a pretty blue-eyed blonde gal. She introduced Jex to RuPaul's Drag Race (may the best woman win) and she had good dogs so she was obviously a keeper. She never had time to see Jex, however, even though it was apparent that she liked our protagonist a fair amount- enough to pack her picnic to be had at the top of the Crest on their first date.

But in a moment of choir-lit enlightenment, Jex realized she never had any time to see anyone, either. Mostly because she had her art *swirly holy fingers* to attend to, and her dog Boo's tummy to rub. She liked the lady lawyer but other matters in life took precedence.

So Boo and Jex set out to find a peyote convent to which Jex could convert, while Boo practiced his own religion privately. It came to everyone's attention that no peyote convent existed, so they founded one.

If you think peyote is all fun and games, think again. It is a very serious endeavor, from what I understand based on everything I made up/ extrapolated from True Blood.

Many supplicants came to Boo and Jex's peyote convent. They routinely vetoed the applications of anyone who was in the habit of making $90k a year or more. They also did not let anyone who felt good about the so-called wonder drug ecstasy. Jex's own mother, who once said that ecstasy seemed like the best drug to try, were she ever to try one, renounced it in support of the convent by means of constructing 57 new words to offend meth distributors, which doesn't seem like it has anything to do with it, but it does.

The members of the convent made illuminated manuscripts in order to survive. The pigments used in some of the pages of some of the manuscripts were priceless; they were made up of a paste of crushed up rubies, and the poisonous eggshells of the kimoro dragon, and all the morning glories printed on dresses from the 1950's. Some of their illuminated manuscripts were made of dead soccer balls. Some were made of nuts and bolts. One was a giant milk-carton building that they all lived in, and it had stained glass My Little Pony windows. Even the lady lawyer sometimes visited between depositions, and she brought her dogs who were called Kodak and Mollie.

There were many dogs and no cats that lived inside, and there were barn cats I guess but only the black kind who could do magic to charm the sunsets into always having a little bit of purple.

And none of them ever lived past the age of 99 years and 9 months, unless they wanted to for some reason.